Now and Forever
by Schizo13
Summary: Doumeki steps in to protect Watanuki once more, at too great a cost. Will he be able to tell his secret before it is too late? *EDITED*


**Disclaimer:** I don't own xxxHolic because if I did, Doumeki and Watanuki would be going at it like rabbits.

* * *

"No...no...nonononoNO!" sobbed Watanuki, clutching Doumeki tighter to his chest "Don't you DARE die on me, you arrogant jerk! Don't you DARE. I'm not letting you DIE because of ME. You still haven't learned how to call me by my name yet!"

"S-sorry," Doumeki panted out, tan skin unnaturally and disturbingly pale. He could do little else having spent what was left of his dwindling energy on saying that one word. He was dying, and there was nothing anyone could do, not even Yuuko. "Hitsuzen", she had said. He was fated to die, there was no way out. He knew it, but he wish it didn't have to be. Especially not like this. Especially not in Watanuki's arms. _Such warm arms_, Doumeki thought idly. It seemed as though not even death was going to be normal. Instead of all his senses dulling, everything was sharpened. He could feel the sharp pain in his chest, the hot blood that unceasingly poured forth from the large grooves.

Watanuki choked on his sobs, glaring at the taller, _dying_, boy for all he was worth. Damn it. Damn it! Why, why, WHY did Doumeki ALWAYS have to jump in where he wasn't wanted? WHY did he always have to CARE so much, WHY was this a part of hitsuzen? It wasn't _fair_. _Another_ person he cared for was dying. First his parents, then his ghostly friend, then that caring spirit, and now, Doumeki, and that was just so wrong on so many different levels. Doumeki wasn't supposed to be lying here dying, because of some stupid malevolent spirit. If anyone, it should be him, Watanuki, after all, he was the spirit's target! Not Doumeki! Doumeki was just protecting him, like always.

_"Oi" came the irritatingly familiar baritone._

_Incensed, Watanuki spun around and started flailing his arms, yelling angrily into Doumeki's dispassionate face, "MY NAME IS NOT 'OI', BASTARD! IT'S WA-TA-NU-KI! GET IT STRAIGHT!"_

_"I want botamochi and soba tomorrow, along with Kansai-style sakuramochi" Doumeki stated, plugging one finger into his ear in order to preserve his hearing._

_Watanuki, who had calmed down after his initial outburst, blew up once more, "BOTAMOCHI?! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASK FOR THINGS NOT IN SEASON?! CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE!"_

_"No."_

_"...ARGH! ALWAYS MAKING UNREASONABLE DEMANDS! DO YOU EVER THINK OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN FOOD??"_

_"Archery."_

_"THAT TOO! ugh. Why are you here?!"_

_"Yuuko-san called me. She told me to walk with you."_

_"DAMN THAT MEDDLING WOMAN! WELL, I DON'T NEED YOU, SO YOU CAN GO, OKAY?"_

_"No," Doumeki threw over his shoulder as he began walking._

_Watanuki intensified his glare by at least 100x, but to no avail. The stupid bottomless pit was not going to leave, as prior experience dictated. Grumbling and generally unhappy with the entire situation, Watanuki brusquely strode ahead, chin held high, in an impersonation of pride and superiority. No way was he going to let Doumeki be in control _all_ the time._

_Doumeki smiled inwardly at Watanuki's predictable actions. He was just so cute, always flaring up at the slightest things... The fact that he was sinfully arousing when flushed and angry didn't hurt either. The inner smile turned into a smirk as lewd images began to filter through his mind. Hey, he may live in a shrine, but he was still a hormonal male. Suddenly, Watanuki stopped walking and collapsed to his knees, mismatched eyes widening in shock as he started to have trouble breathing. Doumeki narrowed his eyes and took a protective position over the fallen boy, ready to defend his friend, his secret love, if need be._

_"Where is it?" Doumeki tightly questioned, not for the first time wishing that he too had Watanuki's sensing and sight abilities._

_Watanuki merely shook his head, the foul smell and oppressing presence robbing his ability to speak. Forcing himself to look around, Watanuki desperately scanned his surroundings for the spirit he could sense. This spirit was much stronger, and much viler, than any Watanuki had ever encountered. Yet he couldn't see it. All he could feel was the darkness threatening to smother him. He knew that if he had been alone, he would have passed out the instant the thing came into range, and he more than likely would have died. Was this why Yuuko had told Doumeki to walk with him? She always had that uncanny ability to tell when something was going to happen._

_Watanuki painfully swallowed and struggled to speak, "I-it, I can't-" he was brutally cut off when the spirit finally made its appearance, about a block away. He forgot to breathe as he took in the enormous, writhing, dark, and disturbing spirit. In such close quarters, the feeling was a thousand times worse and Watanuki fought to keep conscious. The only thing keeping him from passing out was Doumeki's nearby and unwavering presence. He knew the instant Doumeki saw the spirit through their shared eye by the way Doumeki stiffened and raised his spirit bow._

_Quelling the urge to falter, Doumeki shot the ugly thing, determined to destroy it before it could come any closer. His eyes widened imperceptibly when the arrow hit the thing and was _absorbed_. The instant the arrow was completely absorbed, the thing grew in size. Narrowing his eyes in determination, Doumeki never lowered his bow. Though it seemed to be of no use, it was better than nothing. At least while absorbing his arrows, the thing was stalled for a few seconds. There was never enough time to flee, though, especially with Watanuki down for the count._

_"R-run...it doesn't want you, they never do," Watanuki rasped from behind Doumeki. Black dots were appearing in his vision and a dizzy, nauseating feeling was permeating his entire being._

_Doumeki didn't even bother to spare a glance towards the ailing boy, "Hn. I'm not leaving you here alone to deal with it."_

_Whatever Watanuki was going to retort was left unsaid as the thing suddenly charged them with alarming speed. Without a second thought, Doumeki unloaded arrow after spiritual arrow, delaying the spirit's progress by a few seconds each time, in an attempt to let Watanuki try to scoot away. Doumeki knew his arrows were only feeding it, but at this point, there was nothing he could do. He could run, but that would mean leaving Watanuki behind. And that was something he would never do. He cared for, no loved, Watanuki too much for that. If he had to, and it certainly seemed that way, he would die protecting the lonely boy._

_Watanuki, for his part, was frantically trying to get far enough away so that he could at least stand and try to escape. He absolutely _hated_ who he was, and what he could do. He knew that if he was unable to get away, it was more than likely they both would die here tonight, seeing as how Doumeki's arrows weren't having any effect. Pathetically dragging himself across the ground, Watanuki pleaded in his mind for Yuuko, or anyone to come, before it was too late._

_Slowly inching back, Doumeki never let up on his barrage of arrows, even when he began to feel the strain of using so much spiritual power start to take its toll on him. The thing was still about half a block away, its progress impeded only by Doumeki's weakening arrows. He didn't know how many he had fired since the thing first appeared. Too many, probably, judging how tired he was feeling. Still, he couldn't let up. It was a matter of life and death after all. Just as he was on his last leg, the spirit suddenly disappeared. Where did it go? No way had it been killed._

_"WATANUKI! Where is it?!" Doumeki snapped out, tension seeping through his pores._

_Sluggishly, Watanuki scanned the area, trying to find the spirit but to no avail, "I, I'm sorry...I don't see it...It could be - D...DOUMEKI!" Watanuki ended in a scream, as the spirit appeared directly in front of Doumeki, raking its claws right through the unprepared archer's chest._

_Surprise, horror, regret, and guilt flitted across Doumeki's countenance as he crumpled to the ground, the evil spirit's poison working its way through his system. "Watanuki..." Doumeki thought, turning his head towards his terrified friend, just as he hit the ground._

_"DOUMEKIIIIIII!" Watanuki screamed, feebly pulling himself towards the fallen archer, ignoring the spirit that was bearing down on him. All he could think of was getting to Doumeki. He didn't care if he was impaled by the damn spirit, so long as he could reach his rival, his friend._

_Doumeki watched in horror as Watanuki stupidly ignored the spirit in favor of reaching him. Still in possession of some spiritual powers, Doumeki attempted to call upon his bow, but without success. Tears sprang to his eyes as he watched the spirit begin to engulf Watanuki. He willed every muscle in his body to move, but could only call forth the smallest of twitches. Just when he thought he was going to have to watch Watanuki die in front of him, Yuuko appeared in a swirl of purple and black butterfly-patterned cloth, brandishing a long staff in front of her._

_With an elaborate, but quick, twirl of the staff and a burst of power, Yuuko repelled the spirit away from her charge, who had finally reached his protector. Black Mokona jumped in front of her, landing on the large butterfly that adorned an end of the staff and began to inhale the spirit. Not pausing in her movements, Yuuko created a binding talisman, which she threw onto the writhing black mass that was resisting Mokona's powerful vacuum. The instant the talisman attached itself, the black mass seized and was sucked up. Threat taken care of, Yuuko turned towards the two boys, already knowing what she would see, what would be wished for, and knowing that this was one wish she could not grant, no matter how much she wanted to. It was hitsuzen, after all. Even she, the Dimensional Witch, could not change that. But oh, how she wished she could, if only to spare her charge of all the pain and suffering that he was to endure. But she couldn't. It was forbidden, it was hitsuzen._

"You hear me, Shizuka?? You will NOT die! I don't CARE what Yuuko said, I don't CARE that this is hitsuzen, you are NOT dying. You are NOT leaving me alone, like everyone else, understand?! I called the ambulance, and they're coming, so WAIT!" Watanuki ground out again, fiercely glaring into Doumeki's darkening eyes. Perhaps if he wanted it enough, if he willed it enough, he wouldn't lose him. So caught up in his thoughts, Watanuki didn't even realize he had called Doumeki by his first name. The slip up wasn't missed by Doumeki, however.

A tiny smile made its way onto the deathly pale face, a beautiful sight despite the rivulets of blood that ran out of the corner of his mouth. Funny, and unfortunate, how it would take his death for Watanuki to finally call him by his first name. Despite the circumstances, his eyes lit up and he felt a surge of strength. His time was running out, he could tell - the parts not in contact with Watanuki were growing ever colder. It was now or never.

"Kimihiro..." Doumeki said, his features tightening in pain from saying that one word.

"Shut up! Don't say anything! Preserve your strength! Help is coming!" Watanuki ordered, frantic worry stark in his eyes.

Of course, Doumeki ignored this. What he wanted to say had to be said now, and nothing was going to keep him from saying it, not even death.

"Kimihiro...I-I love you..." Doumeki breathed, lifting up one weak hand to stroke Watanuki's shell-shocked face.

"What?" Watanuki could feel the blood draining from his face, the shock from Doumeki's words almost too much to bear.

"I love you," Doumeki repeated, with more strength and conviction, cupping Watanuki's face with the one hand, as the other reached up to grasp one of Watanuki's hands.

Watanuki could think of nothing to say. All this time...he never had a clue. Still, unlike what he had thought, he wasn't disgusted or scared. Instead, he felt the alien sensation of being warm and happy. The flow of tears increased tenfold as Watanuki realized that he too loved Doumeki in kind.

"…I, oh god…I think…no, I _know_ I love you too, Shizuka, so please, _please_, don't leave me...not now, especially not now..._please_" Watanuki forced out, the happiness from the confessions eclipsed by the overwhelming tragedy that was befalling them both.

"Sorry..." whispered Doumeki, having spent all his energy into confessing. The beautiful smile never left his face, or the glow in his eyes. He had confessed his love to Watanuki, and instead of being rejected, his feelings were return. It was just incredibly unfortunate that this was happening now...when it was too late to do anything about their newfound love.

"Don't you dare apologize, because you're going to live, remember?" Watanuki gasped out, as he saw Doumeki's eyes slide shut, "Shizuka?! Shizuka! Don't go...please...don't leave me alone..."

Doumeki slowly forced open his eyes to look into Watanuki's mismatched blue and golden eyes and gave one last sweet, loving smile, "I'm sorry…I don't want to leave you…" Doumeki hissed, feeling the cold hands of Death latch onto his soul, "Love you forever, Watanuki Kimihiro…forever."

Watanuki gave a sharp cry as Doumeki gave his last, shuddering breath. He whirled his head towards Yuuko, pale cheeks streaked with tears, dilated pupils obscuring the enchanting blue and golden hues of his eyes, hitching gasps releasing between bitten coral lips. "Save him!"

"Watanuki...I can't," Yuuko softly said, unable to look away from his desperation.

"No. No. **Save** him!" Watanuki pleaded, "I'll give **anything**, just **save** him!"

Yuuko's eyes filled with compassion as she looked towards her young charge. His was a wish that could not be granted, no matter how much power Yuuko possessed. "I **can't.**"

Last hope gone, Watanuki turned back to the only love he ever had, and emitted a heart-wrenching, pain-filled wail that was felt by every living and non-living soul. His friend, his rival, his protector, his antagonist, his **_love_** was gone. Forever. And it was all his fault.

Tears slowing to a stop, empty, glazed eyes drank in Doumeki's smile, frozen on his face in death. "I'm so sorry...I love you...I love you..." Watanuki's whispered brokenly, leaning his forehead against Doumeki's cold one. Closing his eyes, Watanuki ignored the last couple tears the action dislodged as he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on soft, cooling lips.

**_"I will love you, forever, Doumeki Shizuka, I swear it."_**

**_Owari_**

**AN:** It has been YEARS since I wrote anything like this. As it is, this has not been beta'd and I haven't read through it myself. I wrote this on a whim while studying for my chem midterm later today. Figures the urge to write would happen while trying to understand Equilibria Involving Complex Ions. I am totally going to fail the midterm today…either because I don't know anything, I fell asleep, or both.

After taking into consideration all of the reviews and helpful critique, I've gotten rid of most of the Japanese words. As to editing it...ahahahaha...still not yet. Changing languages is much easier than editing. XD

Reviews, and flames, are welcome. It's bloody cold in my room and I could do with some flames. There is no heating unit, only an AC. For such an expensive dorm room, it sure is lacking…


End file.
